Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I deserve this hangover.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
