you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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