Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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