he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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