i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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