I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
