the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
