I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
