i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
