Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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