I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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