Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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