Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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