I think my vagina is haunted
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
