when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize