You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
