wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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