what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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