I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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