I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
