I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
