No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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