He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need to sanitize my soul.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
