We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
