i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize