ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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