Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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