It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
