I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
