Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
