you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
True college students do jello shots in the library
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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