What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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