I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
