question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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