I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
