Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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