Your tits are I can't wait for
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
