party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
this boner is exhausting
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
