I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
