you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
