dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
