I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You're like the curious george of whores
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
