real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Your cock deserves a montage
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
