So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
