I didn't shave. On purpose
the condom got lost in my hair
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
