I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
