We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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