absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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