Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
