please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
