Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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