What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
