Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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