Yo dont text me then not text me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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