Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
