Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
