they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize