Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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