My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
