I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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