there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
