Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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