I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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