marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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