btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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