How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Drunk is not a location!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
