Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I want her autograph on my taint
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
